Here is a partial list of the reasons most women will return to their abusers seven (7) times before they decide to leave for good.
- She believes she’s somehow to blame.
- There are children in the home.
- She has feelings of abandoning the family.
- Economic reality.
- Lack of Support.
- Feelings of guilt.
- Lack of resources.
- Feelings of powerlessness.
- Cultural pressures.
- Religious beliefs.
- Promises of change.
- Lack of options.
Here’s an example:
John is a really nice guy when sober. Linda is very much in love with him and hopes that they will grow old together. John is a great father to their two children, is helpful around the house and is a great cook. The problem occurs after he has had too much to drink. John becomes a whole different person. He starts to accuse his wife of having an affair, becomes abusive and very argumentative. Linda, realizing he is drunk, tries to walk away and leave John to his bad mood but this only adds to his anger and he starts to become violent.
The next morning, John can not believe what he has done and is full of regret and remorse. He can not say “Sorry!” enough and begs for Linda’s forgiveness. He promises that it will never happen again and says that he will give up the alcohol if that would make her happy. This scenario has been repeating itself a few times every month for over two years.
Linda decides she has had enough (for the 3rd time this year). After John leaves for work, she gathers up the children, loads them into the car and, after several phone calls, ends up at the local domestic violence shelter.
Using the list of reasons why most women return to their abuser, can you figure out which ones Linda is likely experiencing, leading to her eventual return to her husband?
If Linda’s story is too close to your or a friends current reality, please call
24-hour Hotline 800-749-8631
and speak with one of our staff.